Ruination - The Ruins

"I feel 10 feet tall and bullet proof"
"I have way too forgiving of a heart and will take any of you back if you ask"

This week on The Ruins:

Recap: The Champions are great. The Challengers are less than great. Susie is still terrible, but not as terrible as Johnny Bananas.

The best part comes when it is supposed to be masterminded that Veronica (Semester at Sea) should go in the Ruins against KellyAnne (from some other season). But, they don't vote quick enough and haven't told enough of the teammates their plan, so the rest of the team didn't get the memo and vote in Ibis (Road Rules X-Treme - was that really on?) and Kimberly (the biggest bitch on the show).

I am thrilled with the prospect of Kimberly going home but more thrilled that Veronica gets to stick around. According to Evan, she has big tits and a big butt, which is apparently pleasing to his Canadian self. Who knew Evan was Canadian, was that obvious?

The End: The ruins is called the Spool, which is unraveling rope? Are any of these people seamstresses because this reminds me of Sewing Class in middle school.
Wes v. Cohutta: Seems like Wes is losing at the beginning, but then Kenny says the fateful phrase "It looks like Wes is losing". It always seems like when they say that it is just for suspense. We'll have to see at the end of the commercial.

Commercial Break: FOR THE LOVE OF RAY J is back! Why did I not sign up for this show? I want to love Ray J. Sexy Can I?

The End Continued: Cohutta wins. I am stunned! For real. I wish Wes wasn't going home, because I really like when people go rogue. But, Cohutta, I feel is a lot better as a person and maybe he and Kellyanne will get back together. Up Next, Ibis v. Kimberly. Ibis totally deserved to go in based on this performance. She is wheezing and coughing, please, this is the RUINS!!! And Kim is a hoss totes.

Next Week
Veronica and Evan in bed together, Syrus hit in the gonads, Johnny is always about Johnny.

The Hills (much suckier without Lauren)

I watched the most recent episode of The Hills and I am just not impressed. I don't like Kristen enough to care about her and really, fighting over Justin Bobby - the guy with two first names? That is a new low. I always thought Audrina was dumb and so I forgave her penchant for that El Camino but Kristen seems smarter than that.

I also don't care that Holly Montag has a drinking problem. I don't care that Stephanie (who does not at all look like herself) used to have a drug problem and liked rehab. I don't care that Heidi wants a baby. The whole season is weak. Really weak. I think LC made the right decision getting out when she did.

PLUS!!! WTF is Jayde doing as a staple of these episodes? I don't care at all about that orange-faced woman and am really confused why Brody likes her. Brody and LC should have hooked up when they had the chance.

The best part of the episode was the preview for the next episode where Kristen and Audrina have a show down about Justin Bobby. Apparently JB has told K that A was never his GF. And he told A that he wasn't interested in K at all.

THIRD STRIKE, BUDDY

The Best Show on TV: Also Known As The RUINS

There is a new Real World/Road Rules challenge called the Ruins. It's subtitle should be Wes vs. Everyone and Wes loses because he's stupid.

First, I want to say I love Wes. I love love love people who go rogue. I appreciate anyone who is willing to buck the system...but, he should be a lot smarter about it.

Rule 1 when going rogue: Don't tell the people you are fucking over that you are going to fuck them over...seriously

Rule 2 WGR: Develop a plan that actually shows you are a threat to those you a fucking over. For example, do not just swing back and forth on a rope to make someone fall off and then fail at it because of not following Rule 1.

Rule 3 WGR: Do not act like you are hurt when people don't like you after you try to stab them in the back. It is totally cool to stab people in the back, especially when those people are Evan, Kenny or Johnny (Team Evelyn forever).
See: "I am a champion but I don't feel like champion", "why do you say that, it like hurts so bad!", "I want to inspire fucking kids" (yes, you read that right)

Wes is also giving his money to charity to inspire kids? And he wants to teach kids to deal with their ex-girlfriends and boyfriends? What the hell does that mean, Wes? You want to teach children to deal with their ex-boyfriends and girlfriends... is this an abstinence only thing?

Quick recap from the most recent episode:
Wes is sad
Evelyn is still gone
There is not enough Kelly Anne
Susie is 100% a sociopath (no joke)
The Challengers Win because Derrick couldn't figure out what to do with a bag... hint: he is supposed to carry it
The Challengers nominate Brianna - bad dye job, even Evan can spot it v. Susie and Adam v. Syrus
Syrus beats Adam (really no contest, have you seen Syrus?)
Susie beats Brianna proving she is a sociopath

And we wait for next week, folks!