Paranormal Challenge: The Premiere

I haven't posted in a while. However, the premiere of the Travel Channel's show "Paranormal Challenge" has brought me out of hibernation.

Paranormal Challenge is hosted by Zak "Tapout" Bagans, a lovable goof who likes the presence of ghosts (sometimes a little too much: see the episode where he mounts a mannequin and gets a reach around). Zak usually is the primary ghost "hunter" on Ghost Adventures (another Travel Channel show, check your local listings!). Zak is followed by his friends who are filming him, is locked in haunted locations and tries to incite the ghosts. During one episode, he attempted to provoke Hitler.

Fast Forward to Friday June 17, 2011 - the start of Paranormal Challenge. Paranormal Challenge made my reality juices flow. First, I thought the show would be like MTV's Fear. Second, I LOVE Tapout and his motha fuckin' JNCO jeans. Paranormal Challenge begins by explaining it is nothing like Fear. Ruh Roe. This can't be good. Paranormal Challenge is, in fact, actually a challenge between two "actual" ghost hunting teams. Because I didn't bother to remember the names of the teams, I'll just refer to them at Girls and Boys. Yes, this show included a battle of the sexes. OH NO! Who will win? (spoiler: the boys do - gurlz drool)

The two teams are asked to find the most credible evidence (audio and visual) of a haunting at a haunted haunting place. I can't be bothered to remember where they were, probably someplace in Virginia with ghosts. The Boys start mad shit talking saying that the girls' looks won't get them far in the dark. OOHHH, I've never heard shit talk like that before. You mean that the girls might only be good for their bodies? Watch out, tv viewers, we've got a hustler on our hands.

The teams explore the halls of the haunted haunting location and try to find two specific ghosts. One is named Roy and the other is Raymond. I think Raymond "allegedly" molested kids and then was murdered. That shit is gonna be haunted. Roy's back story was forgotten by me immediately, but I bet he isn't haunting the place because his life was roses, know what I mean?

Since most of the episode was snoozeworthy, here are the highlights:

1) Tapout has hired a prestigious group of people to serve as judges. They think gurlz drool too.

2) The Girls have almost no screen time - I don't even remember what they look like.

3) The Boyz manage to provoke Raymond by shouting at him to push one of the "investigators". Raymond shockingly complies. I was SHOCKED. Holy fuck balls, this place is haunted.

4) The judges appeared judgy and stoic. Do any of these guys actually hunt ghosts?

5) There were no guns involved in this episode. There were no historic Civil War reenactments.

My Verdict: The Haunted place is likely haunted by the ghosts of people who died of boredom watching this show. I will tune in next week, but just to see Tapout's gravity defying hair.