The Real Housewives of NJ

The Real Housewives of NJ is a show without any boundaries. The Housewives of New Jersey are the kind of women I have really never met before, but have always wanted to be.

There is something that is a deep within Teresa's eyes that reminds me of a simpler time where people took down their enemies one brutal beating at a time. Teresa knows that brutality would not make her classy, so instead she fights (fights including table flipping, cussing, cursing, and chasing). The chase scene in last night's episode was everything I wanted and more. Danielle screaming and crying down the hallway, her shoes breaking, the woman who looks like a hyena calling the whole debacle "Fucking Bullshit" or "F********* B***S***" (yes, I can figure out what that means, Bravo).

First, why did the chase happen? Teresa explains that she doesn't like being "held back". Well, clearly, Teresa, that is true. As soon as Kim G told her to calm down, Teresa reacted like a cat being given cat nip for the first time. She exploded, chasing her cat toy down the hall. Danielle was behaving a little strangely for a person who had a bodyguard with her. Danielle, you brought the body guard with to protect you. Why are you running, when you could... you know... let him do his job?

Finally, there is Ashley. Ashley reminds me why psychologists say that young adults' brains haven't developed yet. If a zombie found Ashley, it would be disappointed to find no sustenance. First, I cannot image pulling Danielle's hair. Sure, I could image pulling some people's hair, but Danielle's? No. Danielle is maybe nuts, maybe a sociopath, maybe just a horrible mother - but above all else she is willing to do whatever she can to look like a victim. It is important to reserve your hair pulls for people who will either fight back or people who have no hair (I'm looking at you, Kim from Atlanta). Pulling the hair on a grown woman who is cowering in the bushes is just sad and like I said, a waste of a hair pull. That couldn't have been fulfilling for her.

Finally, don't attack someone who would love an opportunity to put you in jail. Period.

The end of the episode was just boring and boring and boring. And proved to me again that the drama on the New Jersey Housewives might be the most compelling, but is hardly the most interesting. I would take Vickie Gunvalson over this shiz any day.

Until next time, we'll always have reruns.