Teen Mom: Season 2 and Episode 1

Teen Mom starts with a recap of last season. Last year, we saw Amber, Maci, and Farrah navigate motherhood. And we saw Catelynn and Tyler deal with their feelings about adoption. Catelynn and Tyler also got engaged.

This season opens with Farrah discussing some legal issues. Her mom attacked her and when the police arrived, Debra was brandishing knives. The prosecutor explains that the laser from the police's gun was on her mom when she finally was apprehended. Clearly, her mother's behavior was out of line. Seems though that the versions of the story are different depending on who you ask. I am inclined to believe the person that wasn't brandishing knives at the police. The court has told Farrah that SoPHEEUH can't be around Debra until the legal issues are resolved. If she is, then the Department of Family Services can remove her from the home. Hmm, seems like a good reason not to be around your abusive mom.

Farrah and her mom meet about how to resolve this and they come to the obvious conclusion: Poach cheetahs for that horrendous coat Debra is wearing. The real conclusion: Farrah will move into the guest house across the street. I don't have a problem with them having a guest house. It has always been clear that Farrah's family is wealthy. But, why is their guest house across the street? Most of the time, those sort of living quarters are smaller homes behind the house. So this isn't a guest house: They own literally two properties. Hello, that isn't actually a guest house then - even though you might be using it solely for guests.

As for Catelynn, she is having a similarly difficult beginning to the season. She and Tyler gave up their baby for adoption and are having some lingering feelings of loss. This is causing Tyler to question his relationship with Catelynn. At one point, she tries to hug him when he is thinking about their daughter and he calls her a leech because she is always stuck to him. Then they have the single most awkward pillow fight I have ever seen on television. I'll be honest, I haven't seen too many pillow fights, but none can be worse than this one. In the very first scene with Catelynn, Tyler tells her he no longer wants to be engaged. Boy is that foreshadowing for the rest of the epsiode.

Tyler and his mom have a heart to heart and she has made him a cake. And jeez he deserves it, living with his girlfriend who loves him, having no parenting responsibilites - give that man a cake! Instead of calling off the engagement with Catelynn or having a discussion with her about boundaries, he gets his mom to kick her out of the house. While Catelynn is trying to pack so that she can move back in with her meth addicted mom and step dad (also Tyler's dad - what a fucked up family reunion), Tyler tries to make her feel better by saying that at least they will have their own lives and time. Catelynn isn't buying it, she knows very well her life will suck living with her mom.

Maci is doing a great job being a mom. She has no help from BINTlee's dad, but she is the most resourceful girl on the show. This girl means business. Ryan doesn't pay child support or do anything to care for Bentley on a regular basis. He sees the kid every other weekend. Maci emails or texts Ryan and asks to meet with him to talk about finances. Instead of writing her back anything productive, he says "Take me to court if you want child support".

Your wish, Ryan? Her command. Maci shows up at court so Ryan can get a summons to appear. That night Ryan is at an uspscale restaurant and we see him at the gym. I don't see Maci with extraneous expenditures.

Finally we are getting up to date with Amber Gary. The two of them are back together and Amber still has her GED on hold. That just makes me feel sick to my stomach - wait, I am getting that confused with Amber's morning sickness. Turns out, she thinks she is pregnant again. She tells her cousin who is less than helpful because she immediately tells Amber that this means her life is over and that she'll never get her GED now. The signs that indicate to Amber that she is pregnant are her spotty period and the fact that she and Gary had an unabashed night of passion. I don't know who could get passionate about Gary - seriously, he sucks.

Amber makes an appointment with her doctor to get an "accurate" test done of the status of her womb. Occupied or not occupied? Gary states the obvious: "I think this would be very bad timing." - No shit. They go to a doctor's office in a strip mall and the doctor tells her to give him some urine and he'll test it. They aren't even doing a blood test? This is not any more accurate than an at home test. You could have saved a lot of money and paid $12.99 at the local Bi-Lo. Turns out she isn't pregnant and the doctor was drawing out his conclusion a little longer than needed.

And we wait until next week: Maci gets paid, Gary cheats on Amber, Farrah moves out, and Catelynn continues to be walked on by Tyler.